Sunday, January 06, 2013

Cold treatment

I have a cold, a terrible cold and cough and I'm suffering. So I took random medications and went to bed.  But, the neighbor's heating/cooling system makes a terrible racket.  It's like a truck revving its engine just outside the window.  I try for a while, but I cannot get to sleep and I cannot ignore it.  So I decide that I'm going upstairs to confront our neighbor (a nice fellow), but what can I expect him to do, turn it off ("we need heat too"), get an engineer, but that would take ages.  So I go and get some blankets and decide to sleep in another room, the one with the least noise.  I'm just about to do this when my wife says, "it's gone off."  What?  It has indeed gone off.  Only for a few minutes I suspect, but no indeed it has gone.
So I'm lying cozily in bed, but guess what?  I can't sleep because its too quiet.  I miss the noise, I lie there expecting it to come on any moment.  Should I run upstairs and plead with my neighbor "please turn it on again."  No, I can't do that, so I toss and turn for a while, take some more medication and suffer, until I find myself here, writing on the computer again.
I have a rhinovirus, I'm sure of it, although I'll let the doc decide.  I imagine all those little rhinoceroces running around digging their nasal spikes into my cells, making them go crazy and causing me to cough.  Ok, I know the connection between rhinovirus and rhinoceros is that both involve the nose, but I like the idea of viruses with sharp probocises.  That's how they do so much damage.  How can such a tiny virus bring a huge man to his knees, its not right, it doesn't make sense.  Unless they really do have these long sharp proboces (what is the plural of probocis?)  So I'm suffering all over, my nose my throat, my chest, my lungs, all because of this little virus, although probably tens of thousands or millions of them are crowding around my cells and making them suffer with their probocies. 
Its not fair, we must come up with a cure for viral infections like the common cold and flu that cause so much human misery.  Here we are lying in bed, all of us who have the flu or the cold and we are suffering.  Surely the Great Fairy in the Sky did not make man to suffer thus.  Surely he did not make tiny little rhinoceroces to attack our cells and make us suffer so.  Life is really unfair.  Maybe if we wipe out all the big, huge daddy and mommy rhinoceroces the rhinovirus won't bother us any more.  It's an idea.


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