Friday, July 04, 2014

The work estimator

I have invented a machine that will determine how much time a person actually works, so that employees can be paid only for the time they actually work and not for any other time.  The idea for this machine came to me when I was watching an orchestra play and I saw that most of the musicians sit doing nothing for most of the time, and only play intermittently (these are the kind of thoughts that pass through my mind).   Why should they be paid for just sitting there?  What about the poor timpanist who only gets to strike the drums once in a movement.  Should he or she be paid for the rest of the concerto.  My machine will analyze by computer the sounds of the orchestra and determine how long each member actually plays and they will be compensed accordingly.
Similarly in all other spheres of human activity, why should the surgeon receive such huge fees when he only actually performs the surgery for a few minutes, and what about the desk worker or clerk, who goes to the bathroom, gets coffee five times a day and chats on the phone with his/her girlfriend or boyfriend.  My contraption will automatically separate these times and will pay the person accordingly. 
I have decided to call my invention the Work Estimator (WE) and I will sell it to all employers, and I am sure it will be  a great success, because they will save lots of money on wages and it will quickly pay for itself.  Workers need not worry about it though, because of course, the value of actual work will go up.  The surgeon will charge an enormous amount for each cut of the scalpel, the timpanist will require a huge sum for each hit of the drum, and the office worker, well I'm not sure about him/her, they might have to take a cut in salary or reduce the number of coffees they drink per day.  


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