Wednesday, March 05, 2008

The Cohen Diet

I understand that people who publish diets make a lot of money, so why not me! I have a special diet, that is unique in the world. It does not greatly reduce weight, but you will enjoy eating and you will die happy. My diet is based on two things, bread and chocolate. By the way I am not Swiss.
There is nothing more satisfying than the smell of fresh bread. Not to eat fresh bread is a shanda, a great shame. So my diet consists of eating moderate quantities of fresh bread. This is good for the soul. This should not be confused with the "Bread for life diet" that specifies a specific number of bread slices to be eaten per day.
Another thing that is good for the soul is chocolate. Some religions, for example the Maya and Incas, used to drink hot chocolate in their ceremonies. Mind you, it was only allowed to the priests and kings, ordinary people could only drink it just before they were to be sacrificed to the Gods. But, since their Gods demanded chocolate they must have been clever Gods.
There are three biochemical components of food: carbohydrate (carbs), fat and protein. Since protein is the only one of the three that is not stored in the body, thus not making one "fat", it is to be preferred. One mainly eats protein in the form of muscle, but since meat, while it contains a lot of protein, also contains a lot of fat, that is stored in the body, it is best avoided. Chicken (turkey) and fish, that contain a lot of protein and do not contain a lot of fat, are preferred.
Carbohydrate is needed for energy, but is also stored in the body, so it should be eaten in reasonable quantity. Since bread is a major source of carbohydrate, this means that other forms of it should be reduced, i.e. less chocolate bars. But, there must be a balance, the Cohen diet consists of a balance of bread and chocolate, with fish or chicken in between. Remember, everything in moderation (this is a Buddhist teaching, but the Buddha never advised eating bread and chocolate).
I strive to eat the four main food groups, chocolate bars, chocolate syrup, chocolate cake and chocolate ice cream. Of these, chocolate syrup is the best because it does not contain the emulsifying fat that chocolate bars contain that makes them "solid."
In between the bread and chocolate one should eat vegetables, salads and fruits (esp. bananas), on the grounds that plants are innocuous and deserve to be eaten (htey are natural roughage). But apart from that they help form a balanced diet with the fish and chicken. At least on bread and chocolate you can never feel that your diet is restrictive.

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